25 October 2007

Best of Craigslist Missed Connections - #001

Not a single bicyclist in the City of Chicago should consider their day complete without visiting the Craigslist Missed Connections forum. This review of hapless individuals whose lives have now gained a small incling of hope (usually through a misinterpreted signal such as a smile actually intended for another recipient) often holds wisdom of Chicago's bicycling community, and those dedicated individuals who strive to fuse their bicycling and social lives together and find the ultimate love. This key point may make sense; who else would understand the erotic touches of one's own Reynolds tubing, or the freedom only riding a brakeless fixed-gear bicycle can bring? Nay, only another cyclist can understand these finer points, I say.

Today's top picks from Missed Connections are as follows...

I hit you on Milwaukee this morning - 30
Reply to: pers-459527333
Date: 2007-10-25, 2:45PM CDT 9am

I was on my bike heading south on Milwaukee about 2 blocks before Ashland. You were using the bike lane as the sidewalk. I saw that you were holding coffee and your lunch in a little to go bag. The bike accidently smacked into your bag and you dropped the bag and coffee...I did not even look back because I thought I was right. I probably ruined your morning and coffee. So......I feel rather like an asshole now and should have turned around to buy you another coffee and make sure your lunch was not ruined.....but I did not do that so I apologize. If I see you again I will buy you coffee, lunch and apologize in person. Dont worry, this is not a pick up as I do not even know how old you are or your sex. But I remember your coat and hat.

* Location: Milwaukee Ave.

Ah yes, the 'ole "I'm not trying to pick you up" pick-up line. Here we have the ultimate bike lane purist: no pedestrian should clog the bike lane on Milwaukee for this individual. It's a good thing this individual didn't stop to apologize, or even look back, for it would only encourage this pedestrian to continue walking across the bike lane. No, I believe now that pedestrian will cringe and fear bicyclists and spread the word that there are to be no invaders in the 18-inches of pure space on Milwaukee Avenue!

I left a note on your bike - w4m - 33
Reply to: pers-457539976
Date: 2007-10-23, 3:21PM CDT

I do hope you call me!:)

* Location: Logan sq.

A note on a bike is often left when the passer-by (we assume to be a fellow bicyclist, here) finds the irresistable urge to fellate the owner of a beautiful bicycle. While no details were left regarding the type of bicycle, we hope this match-made-in-heaven keeps in mind that "Plan B" is always available after those passionate moments when there just isn't to worry about birth control.

Emo girl riding a bike at UIC around 9:30 p.m. - m4w - 19
Reply to: pers-457938520
Date: 2007-10-23, 11:30PM CDT

I saw you and your friend ride past me and my friend and I think we had a moment. I want to meet you.

* Location: UIC

This poor boy may have gone pee in his pants when he saw said Emo girl whizzing by. Was it her depressed, self-pithing look that pushed him over the edge? Did Emo Girl have scars down her wrists from self-imposed harm that sent a chills of lust and desire deeply through his bones? Unfortuantely, with so many Craigslist missed connections, we may never know. But if they do meet and have their moment together, we can only hope mutual flatulence and self-wetting are second only to their desire of unhappiness and pity.

24 October 2007

Sadie Hawkins

Wow, it looks like registration is open for the 2007 Sadie Hawkins Day Race in our grand, Windy City. Normally the author of this post would warn against alleycat races that seem to yield a fair amount of brakeless, in-experienced, hipster douche bags. But Sadie is different, and it's run by good people (from what we hear). Plus, it's for a good cause (which means the end result will do more than nourish the PBR addiction of malnourished hipsters.

Give the race owners and sponsors your business and support if you can. And don't say we've never said anything good about anyone.

23 October 2007

Protected By Stickers, Please Stand Back

Are you looking for a new gimmick present to ensure you keep your Tenax-built, beautiful, custom, fixed-gear conversion safe against Chicago bicycle thieves? Well, look no further than the small bit of effort Dominic Wilcox has done to improve the living conditions for your prized piece of art. Although we haven't tried this extremely useless idea, we can recommend that Dominic add a line of faux Walmart stickers that can be placed on the bottom of the seat tube to ensure any would-be thief knows your $400 conversion purchased off of a rent-needy hipster in Wicker Park amounts to no more than a $50 Magna.

22 October 2007

Here We Are

Here we are. It's 2007, in Chicago, and there's bicyclists all around us. CBF works hard for us. Da mayer' likes bikes and is working hard to make his millions of constituents happy by putting more iPod-wearing, helmetless bicyclists in bike lanes. There's an entire community devoted to policing and critiquing the latest bicycle fashion in Chicagoland and the surrounding collar area.

With all this great bicycling-focused energy, surely we can add something good, and positive, like our ancestor Bike Snob NYC has done for his cities wonderful bicycle community.

Give us a few days to get moving and inspire you to join the latest trend!